The Idols I've Been Worshiping...




Let's get one thing straight- I love Jesus.

He's amazing. I treasure having a relationship with Him and being His child is the most important thing you must know about me.

I. Love. Him.

But at times, I don't act like it. You see, even as I write this, I'm allowing another god to be my focus. It's extremely difficult to push him away, but it's been something that's been on my back for ages-and I'm just now realizing it.

After reading the book, Fervent by Priscilla Shirer, I was convicted about all of the idol worship I've been participating in. One thing Priscilla said that hit home was:

"When our lives are packed to the brim with things that squeeze God to the periphery, it's a sure sign we've replaced our devotion to God with a love for something else."

Webster defines "devotion" as: 

Full Definition of devotion

Well. I can definitely give you a list of three things that I "devote" more time to than I do to the Lord, and here it is:

1. Food. There is nothing I think about more day in and day out than food. My relationship with it has ALWAYS been horrible. I reward myself with it. I withold it from myself as a punishment. I obsess over everything that enters my mouth to the point of being completely consumed. 
Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. Philipans 3:19

2. Other's Opinions/Approvals. Oh man. You just don't know. Like I said, as I sit and type I am bombarded by all sorts of "what ifs". 
"What if so and so reads this? What will they think? What if I offend? What if my grammar sucks? Maybe I shouldn't write this? Maybe I should keep it to myself. If so and so doesn't like it, does that mean this isn't from the Lord? Will they approve?" I can't stop it sometimes. Everything from my homeschooling, my cooking, my IG photos, activites I do with our kids, our finances, how often I read my Bible, my FB status, how I dress, how much I weigh, what I eat, why I chose not to go to church one day, why I chose not to do more at church, my marriage, my home or lack their of...the list is never ending, but all of these things I constantly think about what someone might say or think.
My whole life I have always cared about what people thought of me. There were even certain people whom, I put their words over or equal to that of the Lord's. If they thought bad of me-then that must mean that the Lord must think I'm bad too. I'm 29 and I am just now realizing the emotional harm this has done over the years.

3. Self-Reliance. After being in a few abusive relationships in my early 20's, I started feeling the need to control every situation. I like a plan. I don't like receiving help from anyone. I don't like asking for help even if I know I need it. I don't like relying on anyone. So you can imagine, going through the hardships we've been through this year, the whole- "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still" thing doesn't come naturally. I have the hardest time "letting go and letting God". It has strained my marriage many times, when I refuse to be taken care of and take over taking care of everything. 

With all of that being said, the Bible says:

They lift it to their shoulders, they carry it, they set it in its place, and it stands there; it cannot move from its place. If one cries to it, it does not answer or save him from his trouble. Isaiah 46:7

Oh yes. I have erected these idols into my life. I run to them. I cry out to them. I spend a majority of my time meditating on them.

And you shall not bring an abominable thing into your house and become devoted to destruction like it. You shall utterly detest and abhor it, for it is devoted to destruction. Deuteronomy 7:26

Ouch. There's that devotion again.

For as I passed along and observed the objects of your worship, I found also an altar with this inscription, ‘To the unknown god.’ What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you. Acts 17:23

For the household gods utter nonsense, and the diviners see lies; they tell false dreams and give empty consolation. Therefore the people wander like sheep; they are afflicted for lack of a shepherd. Zechariah 10:2

Any of this hitting home? It did for me. I've spent so much time blaming God for His silence on a lot of issues-but yet I've constructed these gods I serve from my own hands. I wonder why I am not seeing victory in my life. I wonder why my peace seems to get swallowed up each and every day. These gods I serve will not answer my cries. They will not save me. 

But, there is so much hope.

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, Ephesians 1:7

For you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:20

O Israel, hope in the Lord! For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption. Psalm 130:7

We have a redeeming Lord. Is that not a glorious thing?

So what is my game plan now that the Lord has opened my eyes to these things?

It's time to destroy these idols. Jesus cleaned out the temple because of those who were defiling it. So, where's the temple now? We are. We are the temple and it's time for me to clean house. Physically and spiritually. 

Being blessed with an opportunity with Shaklee, I received my kit which including their meal shakes as well as some vitamins. Being that this was a gift, I have all intentions of taking it seriously. I have a husband who deserves better. I have kids that deserve better. I have a God that deserves better. I deserve better. So it's time to get back what I've let the enemy take from me.


It's also time for me to dig in more. More prayer. More fasting. More saturating myself in His Word. More praise. More fellowship with like-minded Christians. If I'm dedicating more time to the Lord, the less those"gods" will be able to speak to me. I want to hear His voice beyond the idols I've erected. It's time for war. 

This isn't going to be a cakewalk. It's going to be painful, and there may be times where I have to completely unplug and go to Him. That prayer closet. He MUST be first or those things will just creep back in. Clean house and change the locks. 

What are some things you've turned into idols? What are your plans to change things around? 





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9 comments

  1. Great post! Excited for you and to see what God does through you!

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  2. This was like reading my own story. I too am in the modst of reading Fervent and so far it has been so helpful, but I often struggle with the guilt of devoting more time, attention, and energy to worldly things than to our Father. Thankfully His grace endures and He ever so patient with his children. Thank God for his patience!

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  3. This was like reading my own story. I too am in the modst of reading Fervent and so far it has been so helpful, but I often struggle with the guilt of devoting more time, attention, and energy to worldly things than to our Father. Thankfully His grace endures and He ever so patient with his children. Thank God for his patience!

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  4. Good job friend. I love the "clean house and change the locks. Praying for you and excited to see the rainbow at the end with you. ��

    Kendra ��

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  5. It was great reading this and I couldn't help but think, "this is me, this is all me." The worrying over my grammar, IG photos, FB status and dressing is all me. And these idols have failed to save me, they can never measure up. The war has started and it has not been easy but I know that it will bear a peaceable fruit of righteousness in us. Fighting with you.

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    Replies
    1. Isn't it amazing how the Lord knows that we need to meet someone in the same boat, sometimes? So glad we've connected! Praying for you!

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