Being an (un)Natural Mom: Why You Are the Perfect Mom for Your Kids

Ever feel like the worst mom ever? Like, "Dear God, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?". 

It seems like now, all you can do is focus on your shortcomings. I mean, what are you actually good at in mothering game? Wouldn't your kids be better off with that hipster cool mama down the street who's kids have no idea what Red #40 tastes like and who's toys run on sparkle fairy imagination and not batteries. That mama who's house is always looking like Pinterest was inspired by her. The mama who is fit, cheery, and so full of happiness all the live long day, that you wonder if she poops rainbows.

But let's be real here. It's truly impossible to define what a "good" mom is. There's also the struggle with accepting that we all weren't just born with the "good mom genes".

I know I wasn't.
From baby number 1, I screamed and cried through her first year. Everything felt wrong. Once, I even handed her over to my mom and said I could no longer do this and I was unfit to be a mom. The struggle truly was real.

Let's fast forward 7 years to the present and four kids later. Ummm...I still think I'm unfit at times. There are still myths and lies that swim around in this mombie brain of mine, that can be so debilitating. Sometimes, I just don't know what I am doing. 

In the book, (un) Natural Mom by Hettie Brittz, she brought so much into perspective. I learned a lot about myself, and was encouraged that I'm not the only one struggling in this beautiful mess of a ministry. By chapter 2-I was in tears. 

Within the book, she gives a website ( where you can take a short quiz to determine your "parenting profile". This sounds lame, but trust me-it'll give you some serious insight. I took it twice and got the same result: The Boxwood Mom. Here are some quotes from the book to describe "me":

From the husband's POV: "My dear Lee handles everything life throws at her but seldom seems to be coping. I had to learn that she is like a stream engine of the old days. She builds up pressure in order to keep going, and she lets out steam once in a while. The steam and the heat should not be interpreted as problems. She's not a care that should run cool at all times."

Spot on, dear sir, spot on. Here's another,

What other moms say: "Honestly, if she were skinny on top of [doing it all], we'd hate her. We think she's a nervous eater though. A better body is all I have on her. But even this was thanks to a diet she emailed me. She's an excellent source of trustworthy info."

"She knows everything about children. When you're not sure, you call her. She'll give you a thorough explanation, and if you sound unsure she'll come over and check on you. It's like she's swallowed a medical journal, a pharmaceutical catalog, and the collective writings of a dozen pediatricians."

I had to laugh at these, because in my circle-I am known as a chronic researcher. It's one of the few things I like about myself. The nervous eating? That's just weird, for it to be that accurate. 

If you can't tell, these profiles are pretty deep. Not only doesn't it showcase strengths-but weaknesses too. I do try and do it all, but that doesn't mean I handle it well. I tend to have days where I blow my top because I just can't deal. 

There are about 5 different profiles that Hettie describes. She gives the good, the bad, and the scriptures to wrap it all up. I would be so bold as to say this could very well help heal the wounds we mamas have inflicted on ourselves by focusing on our shortcomings. It exposes those, but illuminates our strengths that we seem to just skim over.

This reminds me taking the Myers Briggs test. I've taken the test at least 5 times over the past 10 years and have always got the same answer: INFJ. I'm a part of the 1% of weirdos in the world. Which totally makes sense why I feel out of place all of the time! Taking that test made my quirks make sense. Sounds lame, I know. But try it!

So, now what. We know what kind of mama we are. We know our strengths, our weaknesses, now what do we do with all of this information? How does this help out family?

Well, simply put, in (un)Natural Mom Hettie pretty much wraps it all up with helping us to give up the "Supermom Struggle" and the "Improbable Ideal", and replacing it with grace. Lots and lots of grace.

We connect by grace. Our mothering mistakes still bear down on us. They help us crack. Even this is grace. When we crack in the right way, we fall on grace and become channels of it to our children, our spouses, and other mothers. And the curse will be lifted, not by our striving to be faultless mothers, but by the life God will send through our softened hearts.

Go ahead and take the Tall Trees Parenting Profile and tell me what profile you got!

*I received this book in exchange for my honest review*
*This post contains affiliate links*

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  1. I'll have to remember this book for some of my new mama friends that feel like they're struggling

  2. Have to do the best we can and pray for patience. :) Being a mom is tough some days.

  3. Your feelings and thoughts are mine! I too am an infj boxwood mom, and a chronic researcher at that! Everyone calls me for everything. I would love to connect with you. I feel so lonely most of the time, people don't understand my depth and complexity.


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